Lately...

So things that have been happening lately...

First of all, last Tuesday through Sunday Craig was invited as a "celebrity" guest to attend the 43rd annual Grand National Quail Hunt in Enid, Oklahoma. He had a friend invite him who is also a former NFL player and Craig is never one to pass up a hunt...especially an all expenses paid one. He had a great time and got to rub elbows with people like the NRA president and some politicians. Not to mention a few other "celebrities" like former MLB players and some country singers that I've never heard of. Eh.

Anyway, he came home with more than just some quail... He took a nap when he got home on Sunday around 2:45 and woke up with a sore throat and just an all over awful feeling. I sent him upstairs to the guest room to sleep that night hoping he'd quarantine himself until he was better. Well the guest room is directly over our room so all night I heard him coughing and tossing and turning which kept ME up all night as well. The next morning he looked and sounded awful and I took his temperature and it was 95.5!!! I retook it 3 times and every time it came back the same. It was so low!! So I tested myself and I was 98.4 so I knew it was working right. I felt his head and he was sooo cold and clammy! I immediately sent him off to the E-Care place to get a once over by a doc. I was thinking swine flu of course but turns out its not. (not that i think they even tested him for it...) He was diagnosed with acute bronchitis and an upper respiratory infection. Great. 3 days before we have 7 guests coming in for Thanksgiving! He started taking his antibiotics though and today he's felt almost normal. Thank goodness. I have been following him around with the Lysol can for the past few days spraying down anything he touches...doorknobs, remotes, handles etc... He thinks its funny but knows its necessary. SO FAR Matthew and I seem fine.

Today I had my monthly visit to the doc. It is the first time I've seen her in person since she called to give me my bad test results. I past her in the hallway as they were showing me back to the exam room and she stopped and said "Amanda Nall..." and gave me a look like "I'm so sorry I had to give you that news, now come here and give me a hug!" So I did. She is wonderful. When she finally came into my room (after waiting forever! tons of pregnant ladies trying to get in before the holiday!) she gave me another hug and said she felt so awful having to call and give me that news. She said she just wanted to hug me. But she was very excited to know that the ultrasound results showed everything appears perfectly normal and was shocked that I didn't got through with the amnio! Not that she was pushing it but she knows me as a patient and knows that I am very much a "I must know everything I can right this second" kinda girl. haha I told her that I was actually pretty calm once we did the ultrasound and she said she felt really good about things now too. She even praised the doc who did my ultrasound saying that she was really great at knowing what to look for during those types of situations during an ultrasound like mine. She DID tell me that they want to see me back at the hospital for a follow up ultrasound at 25 weeks just b/c they will be able to see the heart better and make sure things are still ok. Ughh. Ultrasounds used to be so fun for me and now they just fill me with anxiety!!

But other than that drama she says I'm measuring perfect, baby's heartbeat looks great (always in the high 150s) and I have gained 6 pounds so far. I reminded her that they didn't see me until I was almost 10 weeks so its really like 10 pounds...but we'll stick to her numbers!! She said its no big deal and that I'll be fine. I gained 42 with Matthew (yikes!) and would LOVE to gain no more than 30 this time...ok 35 AT THE MOST! But we'll see. I have my high school reunion to look forward to about 5-6 months after Mason is born so that is my motivation to keep it reigned in. We'll see how I do.

And lately it seems as if I've gotten on quite the creative kick. Well I can't take all the credit. My friend Rachel (over at the "Berry Merry" and "Oh Pish Posh" blogs listed to the right) is super creative and totally talented and it made me want to see what I could do. I'm getting better with each creation I think. But more importantly its FUN and gives me something to do other than stare at the TV while Matthew is asleep. Here are a few so far:

Some much needed relief.

Today was the big day. The day I had been waiting for since I'd heard my doctor say the words "abnormal results" and "increased risk for Down Syndrome" a few weeks ago. It was amnio day. I have to admit that I was actually fairly calm getting ready, on the drive there with Craig and even filling out the questionaires in the waiting room. But I definitely started to sweat once I was brought back to the room and reclining in the chair, shirt pulled up and that little swollen belly staring back at me. Then the nurse informed us that the doctor would be doing a pretty comprehensive ultrasound first so I got pretty anxious at seeing what that would tell us. So the doc came in...she was so great. Very friendly and knowledgeable. I felt comfortable immediately. She then told us that we'd be doing the ultrasound first. She said that right now my risk for having a baby with Down Syndrome was 1:175 as opposed to the 1:800 national average for a woman my age. (27 when he was conceived, 28 now). She told us that during the ultrasound she would check for many different things (I guess they call them "markers") that COULD mean the baby has DS. Some of the things she was checking for were heart defects, liver, nasal bone, and even things like a tiny middle bone in the baby's pinky fingers and his toes to see if there was a significant gap between the big toe and second toe. She told us that if the ultrasound were to come back perfect then our odds would decrease 50% or go to 1:350. After we did the ultrasound she would talk to us about whether or not we wanted to proceed with the amnio.

So she started the ultrasound and she ran through her long checklist of things to look for and everything was perfect...just as it should be. As she checked each thing and would say "looks good" or "heart looks perfect" I could start to feel myself relax more and more. The last thing she checked for was the nasal bone which they didn't check at our screening for some reason. I knew that the nasal bone can be a big indicator in Down's babies b/c the absence of one or one that is too small is very common in them. We finally got the baby to give us a profile shot and when she said "yep I can see the nasal bones" I let out a sigh of relief.

She finished up and told us that she thinks the baby is perfect and then asked if we wanted to know FOR SURE by proceeding with the amnio. She said that the numbers you will read in books and on the internet all say there is a 1:200 chance of miscarriage from an amnio but their practice has a 1:500 rate. She also asked the question that makes me start to cry everytime I hear it..."So the big question is, if something were wrong, would you want to continue the pregnancy?" I know they HAVE to ask it but just the thought makes me sick to my stomach. Yes we would most certainly do everything in our power to bring this little life into the world regardless of any complications it may end up having. Its in God's hands. So once we said we would be keeping this sweet angel no matter what she said "well then I wouldn't do the amnio if I were you." No point in putting the baby at any risk. That's what we had both been thinking after getting our risks decreased to 1:350 anyway so we decided to skip it.

So that's that. I did ask her if she'd had patients come in and have perfect ultrasounds like ours and then find out the baby was born with Down's after all and she said that yes, that has happened but only a few times in her career. So there is most definitely still a chance something might not be perfect with this little baby but I really think it will all be ok. Still asking for continued prayers though whenever you can squeeze us in! I won't really be able to breathe a sigh of relief until I'm staring down at his sweet face and I can SEE that he is ok. And yes, I did say HE! She gave us our 100% boy shot and there was no doubt! So baby MASON PRESLEY will be joining big brother Matthew Jay sometime in late April. And we can't wait!! Hopefully everything else with the pregnancy will be smooth sailing-and now I can just start to pray that labor and delivery with him will be just as quick and easy as it was with Matthew! (minus some postpartum pain...)

Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts! They were very much felt and appreciated by our family. I'll try to post ultrasound pics tomorrow when I can find the time to scan them in. Thanks again! :)

Some favorites.

If you've never heard of Casting Crowns then you need to drop what you are doing and immediately go download their music from iTunes. This group makes absolutely beautiful, soulful, inspirational, Christian music that leaves you touched beyond measure with every song they sing. Some of my absolute favorites are Who Am I, East to West, Slow Fade, and these two-Praise You in This Storm and Somewhere in the Middle.

Somewhere in the Middle has such amazing lyrics. And they are so true for so many of us. I've caught myself being "caught in the middle" many times and ever since this whole Down Syndrome scare started with baby #2 I've been praying like a mad woman. (I almost feel like a little kid asking their mom for the same thing over and over and over until I can wear her down and she gives in! I hope that's not how God's seeing it...) But now that I'm praying and constantly asking for a healthy baby who beats the odds I have to wonder, "what have I done to warrant this positive outcome?" And that's where this song touches me everytime. Listen to the words (I've also typed them out) and I hope you like it as much as I do.

Somewhere In The Middle lyrics

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle



This video is of Praise You in This Storm. I can't help but tear up listening to it because I KNOW God is with us in our "storm" right now. The peace and calmness I feel listening to it is overwhelming because I know it is true. God isn't going guarantee me a healthy baby. His answer to my prayers may be "no". And I'm ok with that. I trust in Him and over all else I want His will to be done. Period. Everyone has been reassuring me it will all be ok and that we are all praying about it so it will be fine and I agree to an extent but if a baby with special needs is destined for us then by all means, bring it on! And this song really helps me when I need some help accepting God's Will over my own. Still praying for the safe and healthy outcome of this little baby but if not...well, as one of the songs we sang in a children's musical many many many (many...) years ago went "With God on my side, there's no way I can lose! So bye bye bye to those diamond blues!" (I was the main character-a baseball player named Micky who was having trouble being accepted by the boys even though I could whoop 'em all!)



Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

Crazies.

Ok. So I've had NO LUCK in trying to find Abby and Odie new homes. They are posted on petfinder.com, russellrescue.com, I've contacted the JRT Rescue in the DFW area but they are full right now as is Operation Kindness, a no kill, loving animal shelter nearby. But check out some of the crazy emails I've gotten off of my petfinder ads...Do they really think I'll give up my sweet dogs to them!?! You aren't fooling anyone people!!

Hello, how are you doing ?My name is dr peter ,
i am interested in the adoption of your pet.Firstly  let me tell you about my family,
i live with my  wife and daughter, my daughter is 15 years old and she is a very
good lover of  pet.I live in my own owned house which has a fenced yard, and its a
very  condusive environment.i live in a 3 bedroom flat very spacious with a large
garden.At the risk of sounding too rude i will like to know the adoption fee,and
the present condition of the pet.i have actually own a pet before in the past
and the pet was given the best care before his demise. I am presently out of the  states 
now in Uk inorder to attend a crusade in WATFORD ROAD,HARROW,MIDDLESEX,  LONDON and will be
back in a week time. My wife is in the us at the moment and  my daughter so we both
live in MASSACHUSETTS , My daughter's name is alicia and  she will be celebrating
her birthday in a week from now so i want the pet to be  part of our family so that
we can have a good celebration together .I am  assuring you that the pet is coming
to a loving home and it will be properly  taken care of moreso the photos of the pet
will be sent to you every twice in a  month as soon as it arrives our home. I will
be looking forward to your kind  response as soon as possible.If you need to contact
me via phone here is my  contact phone number in uk.
 Dr. Peter

Ok, first of all "Dr. Peter" (ummm suuuurrreeeee), I'm fairly certain that a DOCTOR would be able to type an email out a little better than this.  Second of all, which is it?  You say you live in your "own owned house" but then you say in the next sentence you live in a 3 bedroom flat with a garden.  By the way, I posted Abby and Odie separately and got the exact same email about both the dogs.  word for word.  I'm guessing he sent out a mass email to ALL the ads.  Ughh...Here is the new one I got the other day.  

Hello  I reside in  Houston TX,I saw your advert today on a classified site
on internet concerning your adorable pet adoption you posted on the web , I am
very much interested in re-homing your pet at a companion to be part of my  family,
because my 10 yrs old Daughter love pet so much and i have passion and  care for
pets also.i will like to know if the pet is still available for  adoption and the
present health condition of the pet more so the pictures if  available for more
satisfaction.. i wait to read back from you after you might  have consider to give
me the details of your pet,Waiting to Read from you soon      
Regards,     Charles Miller


Seriously!?!  "Charles Miller"??  I'm sorry if this sounds bad but you don't sound like a "Charles Miller" to me...  

So I'm still anxiously awaiting a LOVING home for my sweet dogs.  I really really don't want them to go to a shelter where I'll have no control over who they go to so I'd love to be able to give them to a sweet family who will love and adore them the way we did before babies came into our world!  If you think you might know of ANYONE who is looking please let me know!  Or send them to the post I have on here that was of their flyer.  Tell them to contact me!   

Mini Bills Reunion.

Matthew is 17 months old. And he has never had a "real" babysitter watch him while Craig and I went out. Usually our wonderful neighbor and friend, Kelley, jumps at every chance to watch him but since she DOES have 3 kids of her own a Tuesday night is not an optimal time for her. So, we found ourselves a real babysitter. Her name is Jenny and she is a very sweet 24/25 year old who Matthew is familiar with since she cleans our disgusting house twice a month. She also doesn't mind our annoying dogs so that's a plus! haha Anyway, Jenny came over around 6 last night so that Craig and I could go meet up with The Neufelds, Cieslaks, and Prestons at the Cool River Cafe in Dallas. All four of us couples were in Buffalo together and now we are all in Dallas. The Prestons are actually with the Cowboys right now. So needless to say, we all had a lot to talk about and catch up on! It was a great night and so much fun to get dressed up (well, dressed anyway) and have an adults only night. It would have been more fun if I didn't feel like a cow these days but I tried to ignore that!

Above: The guys. Brad Cieslak, Ryan Neufeld, Craig, Duke Preston
The girls: Lisa Preston, me, Blake Cieslak and Dawn Neufeld.

On that note, I'm currently about 14.5 weeks along. The tummy has started poking already...that's for sure. Way earlier than with baby #1. Most of my jeans are too tight unless I unbutton them and most of my shirts are WAY too tight... Its so funny because I look at some of them and go "oh yeah, my bump could fit under this shirt." And then I put it on and I'm reminded that I'm not one of those who gets a tiny bump just in her lower abdomen. My bump starts directly under my bra line (even had to bust out my "big girl bras" the other day...lord have mercy...) and makes my entire midsection look puffy and thick. So ready to get the "real" bump! I hate this in between stage. I really used to think I"d be able to swing it so that all I'd get my whole pregnancy would be a little basketball bump...nope. I get it from all angles...butt, thighs, arms (oh the arms...), and of course, my huge chipmunk cheeks get out of control. Sheesh. Oh well. This little guy (or gal even) will be totally worth it, no doubt.

As for how I'm doing on the whole Down's possibility...well, I have to say I'm actually doing a lot better. I don't think I've ever personally felt the effects of people praying for me before b/c I've never really had anything for people to pour out their prayers for me about. But this past week, I really think I can actually FEEL people praying for me. God has most definitely "calmed my anxious heart" and for that I am forever grateful. I've honestly had moments to where I feel very calm and peaceful thinking about "the worst". I know that with God "all things are possible" so when I start to think I couldn't possibly handle having a child with special needs, I realize that I can. We can. And if that's what God has chosen for us, we'll be the best parents we can possibly be. I do worry about what effect having a special needs child could have on Matthew. I worry that so much focus and attention might (have to) be placed on the new baby (and throughout his life) and hate thinking that Matthew might get slighted b/c of it. BUT, in my heart of hearts I know that God will bless us with a 100% healthy child. The power of prayer is a very powerful thing and we have SO MANY of you out there praying for us. God will take care of this baby and us and I know that things will turn out just perfect.

This whole experience has opened my eyes so much. I realize how selfish I can be sometimes and how I tend to focus on MY dreams and the plans I have for us as a family. With no room left for what God may have in store for us. Sometimes I forget that its not up to us. If things had gone MY way for the past 5 or so years we'd still be living in our dream house in Buffalo. But like I've said before, thank God He had a different plan for us. It may have cost us millions and maybe even Craig's career but in the end it brought us home to our families who are the most important thing in the world to us. We've been able to share pregnancies with them and they've been able to see Matthew grow up...and not just through pictures. It really is things like that that make me go "Ok God. Here are my burdens. I'm placing them in your hands. Please do Your will in our lives." That's the best way to go. That's what He wants us to do. And that's what I've done with this little burden. I've handed over our precious unborn baby to Him...placed him in His hands...and put all my faith in Him. That His will be done. (And also throwing in plenty of prayers that plead for the perfect health of this child.)

This whole thing has also made me feel a bond with this baby like I never really felt with Matthew until the end. Maybe its because I've gone through this all before and have a child now that I KNOW the kind of love that having a son or daughter can bring. But with Matthew, I always knew I loved him while he was in my belly. But that overwhelming joy and all consuming love didn't hit me until i actually held him in my arms. With this baby, this whole experience has brought all those emotions to the surface already. I am hopelessly in love with him already and find myself pleading, begging and "praying without ceasing" every second of the day for his healthy and safe arrival. That every cell in his body be perfect. I will never take for granted again that Matthew is 100% healthy and a true miracle. I ask everyone to join in with us on praying for this new baby to be just as healthy and perfect as his sweet big brother. Thank you to everyone who has prayed/is praying for him (or her I guess!) already. Please don't stop. They are working. :)

Halloween...Sock Monkey style.

This Halloween Matthew was a sock monkey. He was by far the cutest sock monkey I've ever seen! :) He had a BALL though. We started out with the annual culdesac party...tons of kids dressed up running around playing, pizza, laughing, screaming...and lots and lots of candy. This year Matthew was old enough to join in on the fun. From the second we got out there he was OFF. He thought he was just another "big kid" on the block. When it was time to trick or treat we got the whole huge group together and started off around the block. I took Matthew's stroller with us but he had other ideas. He ran around with all the other kids (under the very close eyes of Craig and me of course!) and had his little sippy cup that lights up like something you'd find at the fair. So it was hard to not see him. He walked practically the entire night. It was a lot of walking for me so I know it was a lot for him! But he was determined to hang in there with the big kids. He even knocked on a few doors! Of course as soon as the door opened he would walk right on into their house like he owned the place. This happened several times and once he even tried to crawl through a man's legs to get inside to pet his dog! Good thing he's cute and can get away with stuff like that. ;)

Needless to say, he slept like a rock that night. He had a great time and so did we.

Videos: The top video is during the party in the culdesac. The second one is him trick or treating and trying to crawl through to get inside the house! The third one is MY FAVORITE-our neighbor, Kelley, took him up to the door to "trick or treat" by himself and he walks right on in the house!

Just Breathe...

Last night I'm sitting at home, in bed, watching Grey's Anatomy. And my cell phone rings. It is showing the name of my doctor's office. Hmmm....bad feeling already. So I answer and its not a nurse or secretary its my doctor. The first thing I said is "wow, this can't be good." And she said "no I'm afraid not..." She then proceeded to tell me that we got the results back from my First Trimester Screening. And they were abnormal. So basically she said that when I walked in to that test I had an average of 1 in 800 shot at my baby being born with Down's Syndrome or any chromosomal abnormalities. After they did the test, which is a combination of the Ultrasound (checking fluid behind baby's neck) and bloodwork, somehow my tests came back that I now have a 1 in 175 chance of this baby having Down's. She mentioned something about some other chromosomal abnormality being a veerrry long shot (like 1 in 29,000 i think she said) so she said that's the bright side but I didn't really understand what she was talking about. All I was focused on was that something in those tests came back funny and now my risk is seriously raised. Like I said before, after this test with Matthew it came out to be like 1 in 3000 shot!

I love my doctor and when she finished explaining that I could get an amnio if I wanted anytime after 16 weeks to tell me for sure (which I'm doing on November 16) and that there ARE false positives-she herself had one when she was pregnant with one of her kids-I started sobbing. And sobbing on the phone is so awkward for the person on the other end. She told me not to panic yet but I think she was holding back telling me that everything would be alright because she knows it most certainly might not be. So we hung up and I cried like I don't think I've ever cried before. Almost to the point where it made me sick. Craig was at a poker game so I called him sobbing and relayed the message. I told him he didn't have to come home, that there was nothing he could do but he texted me for the next couple hours and finally came home. (yeah I know, he now knows that he should have come home IMMEDIATELY....trust me)

I called my parents and told them about it too and it all really started to sink in. Images of my baby's childhood and adolescence and adulthood all flashed through my mind. Strangers staring at my baby in the grocery store, mean kids on the playground making fun of him and calling him names, not being able to keep up with his brother and do the the things he excels at in high school, having to live at home forever and never getting to have the independence every human craves at some point in their life. Not to mention that more than half of all babies born with DS have congenital heart defects as well as TONS of other health issues...

I just cried for my baby. And for me. I cried because of the guilt I immediately felt because this whole pregnancy I've been so concerned with "boy or girl" that I've barely thought about its health. I kept saying "wow, if its a boy then its going to be so boring sitting here waiting for it! All I'll have to do to prepare is buy some diapers!" I just took for granted it would be healthy just like Matthew. That these things don't happen to me. I was upset when I found out it was a boy. Reading back through my last post I feel so selfish and guilty. Why wasn't I more concerned with my baby's health!?! Who cares if its a boy or a girl AS LONG AS ITS HEALTHY! I've heard that saying so many times and said it myself but never have I meant it as much as I do right now. I love that my baby is a boy. I love that it could be a girl! I just love this little peach sized baby that is floating around inside me right now regardless of whether or not I will ever be able to live out MY dream of dressing my daughter in frilly dresses. If I never have a girl that is fine with me. Just as long as all my kids are healthy. If I could trade in my dream of having a girl for having this boy be just as healthy as his big brother then I would and I'd tack on 5 more boys just for good measure!

The good news is that it IS just a 1 in 175 chance. 174 chances it will be just fine. Or a .57% chance. Sounds like good odds..? But then Negative Nancy came busting back into my brain and said "yeah well if someone told you you had a 1 in 175 shot of winning $100 million dollars would you get excited about those odds?" Ummm yeah I would. (Negative Nancy tends to prepare me for the worst. I hate her.) But I've had several people tell me that "false positives" on this screening is very common and that most everyone goes on to have normal, healthy babies. Again Negative Nancy says "well its got to be right SOME time..." Just hope the odds don't catch up to me.

So anyway, my amnio is scheduled for Nov. 16. I'll be just over 16 weeks. (And 16 is our favorite number around here-Craig's jersey number since forever-so maybe that's a good sign?) I'll be on bedrest for 24 hours afterwards since there is a 1% chance that the amnio could lead to miscarriage. I'm obviously not looking forward to someone sticking an extremely long needle through my belly and into my uterus but it is the only way I'll know for sure and if it does turn out to be Down's then I will definitely need these months to prepare.

So, once again, I am asking for all you prayer warriors out there to go to work for me. I am a big believer in the power of prayer and have seen it do amazing things. I'm hoping all this is just God's way of shaking me a little and saying "stop being so selfish! put things in perspective! If I give you another boy then just be happy with it because you are so blessed young lady! Start worrying about more than just what YOU want and care about the future of your child!" I hate getting in trouble with God. Just trust me God, I hear you loud and clear. I've prayed continuously since I found this out last night and I know He's forgiven me for being such a butthead so now I just pray that He has mercy on this little baby and gives him a clean bill of health. I also have a strong feeling my patience is being tested. Lord knows I have none. I was the girl who researched every trick in the book to get pregnant as fast as possible, took 30 pregnancy tests starting a good 8 days before my missed period, had to know as soon as possible what the sex was... So now I'll be practicing patience as I wait for the test on the 16th and then another possible 2 weeks before I get the results back. Just thinking about hearing the results makes my heart skip a beat...or 10. Talk about life changing.

In my last post I mentioned Psalms 20:4-"May He give you the desires of your heart, and make all your plans succeed." To think that at the time the biggest desire of my heart was to have a girl someday. Now when I think about the desires of my heart I think of one thing and one thing only. Please make my baby healthy. Please let my baby be fine. Please don't let my baby have Down's Syndrome or ANY health problems, defects, abnormalities.... Please please please please please God. Please.

Ok, now its time to breathe again.